Pubes, Vello Púbico
By Anonymous
I’m not going to shave because it’s itchy and because I decided that my sexual partner was just going to have to be okay with my pubes. Now that I think about it, there’s also something political about this decision.
How can pubes be political?
My whole goddamn brown body is political. I am fetishized and brown women are made to think that we have to do everything to please our sexual partner and this is me protesting it. I am the “sexy latina” and my anger is politicized and made “sexy” so that I am not taken seriously. I am the strongest woman that the people I have dated have ever dated because I don't stand by while they give me bullshit. Even when I think I am being passive I am still the strongest woman they have dated. What the hell does that say about how we train women to act in this society? What the hell does that do to their voice? Pero no importa tanto lo que los niños piensen de mi.
My skin is the color of immigration politics, of immigration marches, of protests, of telenovela maids, and sometimes the poor girl that has the “pleasure” of the rich guy falling in love with them. Of the mix of people that can’t recognize where they come from: we just want to reclaim the roots once ripped away from our ancestors. I just want to wear my Mexican flower shirt and dresses because I am proud of my culture and not because it's a fashion statement at Forever 21.
Y mis colochos.
My hair gets in the way. Of my face, of our lips when we kiss and even when it’s in a ponytail it refuses to be ignored. It swings around and I’ve decided to let it be. I can barely control it: when I’m walking, when we’re rolling around, when I’m straddling you, when I find a stray one in my mouth. Or even worse, yours. My hair is not featured in video tutorials. My hair is straightened for fancy events only to be put into a new, “polished” type of curl; some shit curl. I am here to make sure that anyone with hair like mine knows that they are loved and beautiful outside of Anglo beauty standards.
My pubic hair is dark and curly. It smells. It protests when it is shaved. I’ve only done it twice and it hurts when you’re sitting down and all you can think about is itching, and not the good kind of itch.
I was told I was broken once, by the stupid boy who thought he knew what he was doing because he had had sex twice. By the stupid boy who was trying to finger me while I was still shy, ashamed of my pubes. And I still kissed him after that. I was mad for a minute but I decided that the making out was for my own pleasure, not his.
You, como güera, as a woman, should know better than that.
My pinche vello púbico is not yours to ask to be taken away. My pinche sex life is mine, y no lo tuyo para controlar. No más tienes el placer ser parte. So don’t fucking go down on me, I can take care of myself.
The writer wrote this after getting a text: “What do you think about shaving?” and anger crying at 2am.
From April 2016 issue